Think Of Yourselves As Pearls
by The Mysterious Blind Bandit
Summary: Blue Diamond's pearl is a perfectly demure, perfectly quiet, perfectly pretty embodiment of everything Gems want their pearls to be. Of course she is. Yellow Diamond's pearl thinks nothing of it all - of course she doesn't, because it isn't her job to think. Of course.


As time passes, the terror of the renegade pearl shifts and mutes into something more like inconvenience and annoyance, or simple outrage at the impropriety of the ideas contained in the very concept. A burst of widespread panic and fear that once led to impressively high-ranking gems going embarrassingly pearlless for a previously unthinkably long while turns instead into a quiet resentment. One that only occasionally flares up, and only ever in private, between a pearl and her owner, the true root of it mostly (and mostly deliberately) forgotten, suppressed.

Pearl has seen it all happen, faithfully and obediently at her Diamond's side. She isn't sure she could say, if asked, which of it was better and which was worse.

(Lucky, then, that nobody would ever think of asking her about much of anything. Luckier still that even if the thought of bothering her occurred to someone, it would be expressly dismissed by Yellow Diamond's mere magnificent presence.)

They won, after all. Thoroughly defeated the rebels - the conclusion a given from the very onset, really. The uppity pearl got what was coming to her, as did the dastardly Rose Quartz, as did every last tragically or disgustingly misguided Gem in their entourage, as did their backwater planet. What better way to prove who was in the right and who was in the wrong?

And with enough time, a horror story becomes little more than a cautionary tale.

It was always bound to end badly, of course. A pearl fighting, taking up a weapon? Such matters are best left to quartzes. A pearl's hands don't belong on a sword, except to briefly hold one and perhaps help polish and maintain it, per her owner's wish or need. Everyone knows their very gemetic makeup makes them plainly unsuited for any such thing, frail and dainty, lacking as they do the requisite strength. It's impossible for a pearl to ever pose a threat to anyone, even if she, for some unfathomable reason, tried to. They are weak and fragile and it is a simple, undeniable truth of the universe, and Yellow Diamond is generous enough with reminders, lest it ever slip Pearl's mind.

And then, the stories of the pearl inserting herself into cockpits, insisting on occupying the captain's seat? Of claiming to possess the knowledge and skills of a pilot, or of a technician? Pure nonsense and a silly attempt at propaganda. Clear fabrications. No pearl alive could make sense of something like that, all of it quite beyond any of them. Pearl does her best, of course, with the various systems her Diamond requires her to handle, administrative and logistical and otherwise. All of which she handles quite well, all things considered, and occasionally improves upon - her Diamond has never really _said_ so, but Pearl knows, because she knows when her Diamond is pleased, because she has come to know very, very well when she is _not_. But all of that is something entirely different, of course.

Of course.

Blue Diamond's pearl - now there is a perfect specimen. A true exemplar. Cause of envy - healthy and encouraging beneficial competition, to the gain of the empire as a whole! - in many a Gem.

Pearl can see it in their gazes, both fleeting and uncomfortably lasting and heavy, hear it in their words. They're not seeing _her_ , really, at all, when they look at the delectably demure and perfectly made little pearl in Blue Diamond's shadow. They are seeing _themselves_ with a pearl just like her, walking behind them, pretty head bowed, jumping to open doors for _them_ , or sing, at their exact preferred volume, for _them_ , or - for those desiring attention and rather more prone to courting scandal - on their own arm when out and about, if they so wish. Whatever they wish.

Such a good pearl. No wonder she's inspired several slews of fashions and trends among pearl owners and pearl artisans both.

Pearl feels inadequate, sometimes, in comparison. Oh, they are equal in rank, of course, both in gem type and in the trickle-down prestige of who their owners happen to be. And Pearl is so very dedicated to doing what Yellow Diamond wants and needs of her - and so successful at it, most of the time. But she is too shrill, too often and too obviously in the way. Calls too much attention to herself and only manages, with great and clear effort where there should be none, to correctly reflect a small part of that towards her illustrious owner, where it belongs. No good at all at hiding her emotions - envious, often, of the highly convenient shroud of hair Blue Diamond's pearl can easily hide behind - not that she'd ever need to, of course. Of course not. _She_ is far too good at controlling her feelings and keeping them properly contained and not bothersome - why, her poor Diamond suffers enough as it is, her own grief more than enough to carry on one's shoulders. What need could anyone, but her especially, ever possibly have for the insignificant, petty grievances of her pearl?

They have been meeting in person very often lately, their Diamonds, so Pearl sees a lot of her blue counterpart. It is only natural that she occupies her thoughts so.

Blue Diamond's proximity has come to mean a lot more open weeping, too, for all of them. Her Diamond manages to control herself admirably even in the harshest of circumstances, but all Pearl herself can do is glare at Blue Diamond's pearl through yet another onslaught of tears not entirely her own, envious of her oh-so-convenient hair, her tiny, decidedly not-messy and very restrained tears, and her outward calm borne of being very clearly accustomed to this barrage of foreign, intruding emotions.

There are matters at hand Pearl has to pretend not to understand, even as she makes sure everything is properly handled for her Diamond. Hints that their victory on the Earth colony may not have been as thorough as it had seemed. Upsetting things, for both Diamonds, who show it so very differently.

After the latest outburst and subsequent roomful of grief during an Earth-related planning meeting, after she's wiped away the tiny hint of tears that dared show itself on her face, Yellow Diamond puts a gentle but firmly guiding arm around Blue Diamond's shoulders, and they leave, pearls not needed - or wanted - at the moment.

As soon as they're out of hearing range, Blue Diamond's pearl makes a little _huff_ of a sound that Pearl can't quite parse. "We're better off without them."

Pearl doesn't ask what happened to prompt this audibly bitter outburst - too shocked to even think to, or do anything but gape. The meaning of the words registers fully and she flinches at the invisible hand encasing her entire form, displeasure evident in each clenched finger, gripping, _gripping_ -

"Look at you. You're a mess."

Pearl sputters, indignant. But there is a tiny blush of gratitude in her, too, for the other pearl cutting that particular spiral short.

"I thought you could be useful. That you could help me. But you've let her make you so _scared_."

It is unkindly said. Cold. Downright cruel, perhaps, that edge present in it. And so very disappointed.

 _Of course I'm scared_ , Pearl wants to shout, but her mouth isn't cooperating, and their Diamonds aren't very far at all.

"I _am_ useful!" she manages, instead, in a half-whispered burst. Of course she is useful, it is absolutely crucial. If she weren't useful, she wouldn't exist, and if she ceases to be useful, she will cease to exist - it's all so very simple.

"Prove it, then. We need to warn them."

"Warn…?"

"Help me get a message out to them, in secret. A message to Earth, about these plans for its destruction." Then, suddenly much more kindly, and with the return of the softness that made her so very desirable, "I know you can work the terminals and screens like few other Gems."

For a moment Pearl wants to disregard the blatant attempt at flattery - true though it may actually be - and ask the other pearl if she plans on running off to shamelessly cavort with a quartz, too. "Why do _you_ care what happens to the Earth?"

"Where else will we go, once they get bored of us?"

It's not something Pearl can pretend she's never thought of. It's a fear all of them share, to some extent or another. But the idea they could actually _do_ something about it…

"And I-" A falter, for the first time. Pearl waits, and lets the other one collect herself again. "I have to go. Soon. While I can still-" She makes a grab at her gem, but interlaces her fingers just beneath it instead - trembling, now, just like her voice. "While I can still feel something and know it's real, and mine."

Pearl feels the remnants of that blue wave churning in her chest still, the pressure of it just behind her eyes, the desolate, consuming grief over someone she never really knew clawing at her throat. "I'll help you," she says, small, only half believing she is actually agreeing to something like this. Her reward is a smile - a tiny, very tentative one, but one she likes to think is real, and hers. Theirs.

"You should come too. I rather like seeing you whole." The pearl grimaces. "I'm not as fond of the anticipation, every time. The fear that it won't be you, but a new one."

Pearl hates, above all, the thought that she has been so obvious, so transparent. That this pearl, this not-so-frequent visitor, can purport to understand her and her situation oh-so-well. That she is rather painfully right, on most counts. That Yellow Diamond is hardly the discreet, self-possessed Gem she is hailed as.

"I'll…" Pearl stops, casting a quick glance over her shoulder, then all around them, and especially at the hallway their Diamonds disappeared into. Footsteps, deep and echoing. They are on the way back. "I'll think about it."

"That's all I can ask," the other pearl answers quietly. She brushes their fingers together, quick enough to make it feel almost like an afterthought, then moves so they are standing side by side, posture perfect, entirely still, entirely reputable, entirely hollow.


End file.
